The Renegade Read online

  “May I help you?” she asked.

  His response was a glare over his shoulder as he put the crutch aside and slowly sank onto the mattress. She watched as he maneuvered his leg up using his arms. When he settled back against the pillow, he was breathing heavily and he closed his eyes.

  She had a feeling he’d be cursing from the pain if she hadn’t been in the room.

  Good heavens, this was not at all what she’d imagined seeing him would be like.

  “I’ve been…worried about you,” she said.

  His eyelids flipped open. But he stared at the ceiling, not at her.

  The silence that followed was thick and cold as snow.

  She came into the room a little. Shut the door quietly. “I have a reason for needing to see you.”

  Nothing. No response.

  “Ah, did Reese ever tell you about his will?”

  “No.”

  “He left you—”

  “I don’t want money.”

  “The boats.”

  Alex’s face turned toward her briefly. His lips were tight. “What?”

  “All twelve of them. The two America’s Cups, the schooner, his antique four-master. The others…All of them.”

  Alex put one hand over his eyes. The muscle in his jaw worked as if he were grinding his molars.

  She noted absently that he was still built strong, even with the weight loss. On the arm he had up, his biceps were curled thickly, stretching the short sleeve of his T-shirt, and his solid forearms had a network of veins running down them.

  Her eyes drifted to his chest and then on to his taut stomach. The T-shirt had ridden up as he’d lain down, revealing a thin stripe of hair that ran from his belly button into the waistband of the pajama bottoms.

  She looked back to his face quickly.

  “I thought you should know,” she said. “The estate is being probated, but it’s a large, complicated one so it’ll take some time. My point being, you won’t have to worry about storage fees for a while.”

  There was another long silence.

  His sisters had warned her that he wasn’t letting anyone inside, and they’d been very right. But when had he ever? She could remember Reese saying he knew his partner’s character like the back of his hand, but the man’s thoughts and feelings were totally off-limits.

  “So I guess I’ll…I’m going to go,” she said finally.

  When her hand was on the doorknob, she heard Alex clear his throat. “He loved you. You know that, don’t you?”

  Tears leaped into her eyes as she glanced back at him. God, he was so still. “Yes.”

  Alex’s head turned slowly. And he looked at her.

  Agony was in his face. Total, abject despair. The depth of the searing emotion floored her, and she came across the room on impulse.

  Which was a bad idea.

  He shrank from her. Actually pushed his body away, right to the far edge of the mattress.

  Cassandra skidded to a halt next to the bed and fought not to completely break down.

  “I will never understand why you’ve hated me all these years,” she said, her voice cracking.

  “That was never the problem,” he shot back. “Now, please, just leave. It’s better for us both.”

  “Why? You were his best friend. I was his wife.”

  “You don’t need to remind me of that.”

  Cassandra shook her head and gave up. “The lawyers will be in touch about your inheritance.”

  She closed the door behind her and quickly went down the hall to the guest room she’d been given. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she straightened a fold in her Chanel skirt, put her hands in her lap, crossed her legs at the ankles—

  And sobbed.

  * * *

  Alex shut his eyes and took deep breaths.

  On the backs of his lids, all he could see was long, thick, copper-colored hair. Pale, smooth skin. Lips that were naturally tinted pink. Eyes that were a soft green, like sea glass.

  His poor, miserable, beaten-up body started to crank over, like an old engine wheezing to life. In spite of the fact that he was pumped full of drugs, and hung over, and in pain, warmth spread under his skin.

  Feeling something, anything, other than suffering should have been a relief. Instead, the flush kicked up regrets that almost had him crying out.

  Reese may be dead, but in Alex’s mind, Cassandra was still very much the man’s wife. And she always would be.

  Chapter Two

  The following afternoon Cassandra scanned the small crowd that had gathered in the living room for Gray and Joy’s marriage ceremony. Gray’s father, still recovering from a stroke, was sitting in a cushioned chair. Nate Walker, who was married to Alex’s sister Frankie, was standing against some windows. Next to him was a handsome, black-haired guy with a tattoo on his neck. Spike? Yes, that was his name. Libby, Gray’s housekeeper, was behind Spike. In her hands, she had the leash of a golden retriever who had a ring of flowers around his neck.

  At the head of the room, in front of the fire, there was a collared minister holding a leather book. Flanking him were Gray and his best man, Sean O’Banyon, as well as Alex’s two sisters, Joy and Frankie.

  As Cass caught Gray’s eye and waved to him, she thought the man had never looked happier. She’d known him for almost a decade and had watched him grow so hard she’d worried that no one could reach him. But here he was, smiling like a schoolboy, love shining in his eyes as he shifted his weight impatiently.

  Cass went over and stood next to the dog. Spike was stroking one of the retriever’s ears, and the man flashed her a smile, his odd yellow eyes crinkling at the corners.

  “You want to take Ernest’s other side?” he said quietly, as if he sensed she was nervous.

  The dog looked up, clearly seconding the invitation.

  She laid a hand on Ernest’s soft head. While patting, she glanced behind her.

  “Don’t worry,” Libby whispered. “I just left Joy in the kitchen. She hasn’t forgotten what she’s supposed to do in that gown.”

  But the bride wasn’t who Cass was looking for.

  Moments later the double doors from the dining room opened and Joy appeared. Dressed in a simple white satin sheath, and holding a small bouquet of cream-colored roses, she walked up to Gray, glowing like a sunrise.

  Cass glanced over her shoulder once more. She’d been steeling herself to see Alex all morning, sure that he wouldn’t miss his sister’s wedding. He was in rough shape, but certainly not that rough.

  Although, it wasn’t as if she were going to volunteer to check on him.

  Just as the minister flipped open the Book of Common Prayer, she caught a movement over to the right.

  Cass’s eyes grabbed and held on to Alex as he came in on crutches. He positioned himself in the far corner, leaning back against the wall and kicking out his cast. He’d shaved, and his damp hair was brushed straight back from his forehead. Without any whiskers or bangs, the bones in his face were very clear. His high, carved cheekbones. That hard jawline. The straight nose.

  He was wearing a different pair of flannel pajama bottoms, in a Black Watch plaid. One of the legs had been split up the side to accommodate his cast and a couple of safety pins had been used to keep the two halves together above his knee. His button-down shirt was white and pressed, tucked neatly into the waistband.

  His eyes were trained on the ceremony. Which was good because she didn’t want to get caught staring at him.

  She forced herself to look away.

  * * *

  Alex knew the moment Cassandra’s gaze left him. It was a goddamned relief.

  And he did a good job of not staring at her. He kept his head forward, staying focused on his sister.

  At least until the minister addressed Gray. “Will you love her and comfort her, honor and keep her…”

  Alex shifted his head a little to the left so he could catch sight of Cassandra in his peripheral vision. She was wearing a spectacular dark re
d jacket-and-skirt combo that fit her body as if made for it. Which the clothes undoubtedly had been.

  But it wasn’t the fancy threads that made her beautiful. She was bent to the side in her high heels, stroking the dog’s head. Little blond hairs were getting all over the beautiful suit but she didn’t care. She just urged Ernest closer, smiling at him as he leaned into her.

  Will you love her…

  I will, he thought. All the days of my worthless life.

  And he wanted to comfort her. He just couldn’t do that without dishonoring her and his dead friend. Not knowing how he felt. Knowing what he’d done.

  “I will,” Gray said from up front.

  After the bride and groom kissed, the couple turned and faced the small assembly. As Joy’s happy eyes met Alex’s, he was glad he’d come down. He nodded at her, gave her a smile and then propped his weight on the crutches. He wasn’t going to stay for the reception and wanted to leave before he got trapped talking to people.

  As he made his way out into the hall, he looked up at the grand front staircase. Three flights, two landings. Probably forty or so steps. It was going to take him a good ten minutes to get up them.

  “Yo, you need help?” Spike asked casually. The guy had obviously followed him out at a discreet distance.

  Spike was a good guy, Alex thought. Calm, steady, even though he looked like a dangerous criminal with the tattoos and piercings. He and Nate were partners in the White Caps kitchen and had catered the wedding at Gray’s house.

  “Thanks, man, but I’m good.”

  Alex started for the rear of the house. Taking the back stairs to the second floor was better. That way, no one would watch him struggle.

  As he pushed open the kitchen’s swinging door, he noticed the place smelled fantastic and was surprised when his stomach checked in with a faded version of hunger pangs. Punching the crutches into the floor and swinging his body along, he paused when he heard his name called out.

  He smiled as he looked back at Joy. “Hey, married woman.”

  “Thank you so much for coming down.” She ran over and threw her arms around his neck, holding on so tightly he could barely breathe. Unable to return the embrace because of the crutches, he dropped his head down to his sister’s shoulder. He was a little shaken by how much his presence seemed to mean to her.

  “Thank you,” she whispered again.

  “Wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

  There was the sound of laughter and then the flap door was thrown open.

  Gray’s best man came barreling into the kitchen. With his arm around Cassandra.

  The Wall Street big shot was laughing and smiling. “—so Spike and Nate deserve a break, you and I are it, baby cakes.”

  The two pulled up short. And Alex found himself measuring the guy for a fight.

  Which was insane.

  First of all, Cassandra was allowed to have anyone she wanted touch her.

  Secondly, that slick bastard may have been in a suit, but as soon as O’Banyon registered Alex’s expression, he shifted his stance and brought up his free hand as if on reflex. Like he’d been in quite a few physical altercations and had no problem being in another one.

  Now ordinarily, Alex wouldn’t have been put off at all by a worthy opponent. Except he knew damn well he’d have trouble taking on anything bigger than a field mouse in his current condition.

  And for God’s sake, it was his sister’s wedding day.

  Joy, bless her heart, seemed clueless about the aggression swirling around her. “Alex, have you met Sean O’Banyon? He’s one of Gray’s best friends.”

  The man dropped his arm from Cassandra’s body, offering the palm that had just been on the top of her hips.

  Yeah, right, Alex thought.

  “You understand if I don’t shake,” he said, smiling with his lips, but not his eyes.

  O’Banyon nodded once, keeping his gaze steady as he dropped his arm. Cassandra looked back and forth between them, as if measuring the antagonism and being confused by it.

  Abruptly Joy stepped in front of Alex as if she were trying to distract him. Maybe his little sister did know what was up, after all.

  “Would you like me to bring you something to eat?”

  “No. It’s your wedding reception. You stay with your husband.” Alex looked across the room and spoke before his brain could shut his mouth. “Cassandra will run something up. Won’t you. Baby cakes.”

  Cassandra frowned. “Of course.”

  Alex hobbled over to the stairs, aware that he was going to be the topic of conversation the moment he was out of earshot. Not that he gave a damn.

  As he braced for the ascent, he cursed himself.

  The idea was to keep that woman away from him. Why was he paving her way to his bedroom?

  Because, his inner idiot pointed out, at least if she were upstairs with him, she wouldn’t be in the arms of that pale-eyed, slick-suited, flashy bastard.

  Alex pegged the crutches into the first step and pushed himself up.

  Damn it. He should have taken the front stairs when he’d had the chance.

  * * *

  Cass heard the kitchen door swing shut as Joy went back to the party. She also registered the sounds of people moving around in the dining room on the other side: footsteps, talking, laughter, a bottle of wine being uncorked with a pop.

  But what she listened to were the grunts and thudding as Alex dragged himself upstairs.

  “So that’s Alex Moorehouse,” Sean drawled. “The Alex Moorehouse. I’ve read about him. Won the America’s Cup how many times?”

  Cass tried to remember what she was doing in the kitchen. “We’re bringing in the food,” she murmured.

  Sean flashed her an odd look. “Yes, we are.”

  She went over to the massive Viking stove and started cracking the doors on the different ovens. There were so many covered dishes warming, she wondered where to start.

  “Not exactly the friendly type, is he?” Sean said, leaning against a counter. “Even busted up like that, he was ready to ring my head like a bell.”

  Sean didn’t seem offended in the slightest, though why would he be? Given the way O’Banyon lived his life, he was probably most at ease around hard-core men like himself, especially if things were getting aggressive. Wall Street just hadn’t managed to tame the South Boston street thug he’d once been.

  “Was he always like that?” Sean prompted.

  “He’s been through a lot.” Using a pair of folded dish towels, she drew out a roast beef that rested on a spectacular Royal Crown Derby platter. Her arms strained and she hoped she wouldn’t drop the thing. The plate was worth more than the stove.

  “I’ll take that,” Sean said, relieving her of the load like it didn’t weigh more than a potholder.

  Working in tandem, the two of them brought in covered dishes of wild rice and minted peas and broccoli au gratin and pearl onions. By the time everyone had drifted in from the living room, the buffet was set up. Cass let the others go through the line first. When the other guests were all sitting down and eating, she picked up a gold-rimmed plate and a damask napkin roll.

  She tried to imagine what Alex would want to eat. Did he like his roast beef from the pink center or the more well-done edges? And how much rice? Would he want gravy? When she passed by the basket of freshly made rolls, she put one on the side and then thought of how thin he was. She added another and put a big slab of butter next to them.

  “I’ll be right back,” she said to no one in particular.

  Silence sucked the party sounds out of the room as every person at the table stopped eating and talking and just watched her go. As if she were heading into a lion’s den.

  Why did he pick me? she wondered.

  Unless he enjoyed torturing her.

  As she walked upstairs, she was anxious even though she told herself to stop making such a big deal about it all. He was just a man. Just another human being.

  She paused in fr
ont of his door.

  No, he wasn’t, she thought. There was something about Alex that was different, and she’d recognized it the moment she’d first met him. He was raw and wild where other men were tame and bland.

  No wonder he was drawn to the sea. It was probably the only thing on the planet big and mean enough to challenge him.

  She thought about her husband. Reese had loved sailing, but he’d had a thriving business and a home life he’d enjoyed. Though he’d be gone a week at a time or sometimes even more, he’d always returned to her and been glad to be off the yacht. Alex had never stopped. She’d heard that he was on land maybe only four or five weeks a year. The rest of the time he was captaining boats, training crews, fighting the ocean and his competitors to win.

  The past three months must have felt like a prison to him, she thought.

  “I can’t eat if the food’s in the hall,” Alex said from inside the room.

  Cass jumped. Taking a deep breath, she balanced the plate on one hand and opened the door. “How did you know I was—”

  “The smell.”

  She looked around the room to avoid meeting his eyes. “Where do you want this?”

  “Here.” He made space on his bedside table by pushing pill bottles and an empty glass to the side.

  “I—ah, I didn’t know what you liked. So I brought you a little bit of everything.” She put the plate and the napkin roll down. “Do you want me to get you some water?”

  “Thanks.”

  She picked up the glass and went for the bathroom. At the sink, she ran the water until it was cold under her fingertips and then filled the tumbler up. When she came back, she noticed he hadn’t touched the food.

  She looked at him. His eyes were hooded as he watched her every movement.

  “You should eat it while it’s hot.” She put the glass down.

  “Probably.” He shifted his head, regarding her with disarming stillness. “So how well do you know that guy?”

  “Who?”

  “O’Banyon. Wasn’t that his name?”

  Talk about out of left field, she thought.

  “I, ah, I know him fairly well. He was Reese’s investment banker, but he’s also a dear friend of Gray’s. They went to school together.” She frowned. “Are you going to eat?”